QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. To actualize
its potential.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine there is no chicken, it's easy if you try...

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

NEIL ARMSTRONG: "That's one small crossing for a chicken, one giant
leap for chicken-kind."

GOETHE: Es irrt das Huhn, solang es die Stra?e übergeht.

HAMLET: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: -Whether 'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer; The slings and arrows of outrageous side; Or to take arms against a road of troubles,

DAVID COPPERFIELD: I made the chicken disappear and reappear on the
other side.

ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

KARL POPPER: To disprove the hypothesis that chickens could not cross roads.

DARTH VADER: To get to the Dark Side.

OPRAH WINFREY: He was reacting to a repressed traumatic caponisation in his childhood which he will now share with us in detail.

ARTHUR, KING OF BRITONS: To seek the Holy Grail.

IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

OBI-WAN KENOBI: Because the force was with it.

LUDWIG VON BEETHOVEN: What? Speak up.

JOHN LOCKE: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

GREGOR MENDEL: To get various strains of roads.

NIETZSCHE: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

GEORGE ORWELL:Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

THE POPE: That is only for God to know

RASTAFARIAN: There were grass on the other side mon.

SAPPHO: Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair
than all of Hellas' fine armies.

JEAN PAUL SARTRE: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

OJ SIMPSON: You'd run too, if you had just killed two people and tried to frame an inoccent man

BF SKINNER: The external influences which had pervaded its sensorium
from birth caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would be driven to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

STALIN: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette.

MAE WEST: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

DANA SCULLY: It was a simply bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly
found in chickens

ZENO: To prove it could never reach the other side.

RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.

RENE DESCARTES: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming
anyway.

CHARLES DICKENS: Tis a far, far better road than chicken has e'er
crossed before.

EMILY DICKENSON: Because it could not stop for death.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: It was running to catch the Edinburgh train at
Victoria Station at 3:15, my dear Watson. Observe the patina of dust on the dropped feathers, bespeaking long hours in a library, surely reading about Scotland. Remark the Baker Street boys' report that it was humming "Bonnie Lassie" while waiting to cross. Note the ticket stub marked Edinburgh. Of course, we both know the only train to Edinburgh leaves at 3:15 from Victoria...

DAVID HUME: Out of custom and habit.

CARL JUNG: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause it (CENSORED) wanted to. That's the (CENSORED)reason.

TS ELIOT: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.

LEDA: Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed as a chicken? He's into that kind of thing, you know.

JOHN MILTON: To justify the ways of God to men.

THE SPHINX: You tell me.

JULIUS CAESAR: To come, to see, to conquer. It came, it saw, it
conquered.

ALBERT CAMUS: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

JACQUES DERRIDA: What is the *difference*? The chicken was merely
deferring from one side of the road to other. And how do we get the idea of the chicken in the first place? Does it exist outside of language?

BILL GATES: I will soon release the new Chicken Office 2002, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking

EPICURUS: For fun.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

ROBERT FROST: To cross the road less traveled by.

BILL CLINTON : I did not, repeat, did not have sexual relations with
the chicken.

ERAP: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!

MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO : " Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"

RAMON REVILLA: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng
manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road.

(from an email my friend sent me)